After reading numerous posts & publications over the past two years--real estate agents blaming lenders, politicians blaming everyone, lenders blaming the government and real estate agents...blah blah blah! I'm not one for stirring the pot and I'm not trying to here but, I have to say that I've been becoming more and more agitated with complacency - especially lately - and the blame game that we continue to play. It seems that few Americans see what is really going on in America now because everyone is so busy blaming one another for what's wrong in the US- specifically, what's wrong in our business.
I honestly never agreed with the philosophy that everyone is ENTITLED to the American Dream, as was mandated by our President back in the 90's. I'm a bit old fashioned so, even during the 'hay day,' my clients were strongly encouraged to save in order to make a 20% down payment before purchasing their first or second home--after that, most buyers know they need the 20% and generally have plenty of profit after a sale or two--at least back then they did! (And now, I'm sometimes leaning toward putting less cash down in some circumstances but, that's a whole other post)!
Buyers review finances with their lender, then with me. Perhaps it's the 'mom' or the 'nurse' in me but, my motto, which all of my clients will tell you I preach to them is, I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house! I want them to enjoy vacations and luxuries in life that otherwise cannot be enjoyed if they are over-extended with their mortgage. I don't take ANY blame for what happened but, I AM paying the price, just as every other agent in the US is. However, I am surviving and still preaching similar financial strategies to my clients.
My frustration lies in hearing the repeated accusation, "It's not our fault, it's YOURS!" Here's a novel idea--why not put all of that negative energy that you're using to blame one another, into something positive? We can't go back and change any of this; all we can do is focus on something more positive--turning this around and doing everything that we can possibly do to educate the consumer so that this never happens again (in our generation or any that follow)!
Lay off of the blame game and focus on strategies to overcome the challenges that we face in our business. The worst could be yet to come if we don't.
(THE best Charlotte home search available - no kidding!)
Debe Maxwell, CRS/Realtor®/Broker
Broker@TheCharlotteScoop.com
Phone (704) 491-3310
Thanks for posting. I always learn a lot of good information from Active Rain blogs. Best Regards,
wow, great info..... We are all into blaming people for issues, but we all need to step up...
Celia: Thanks!
Ken: Thanks and YES, we do!
Debe, great piece. I agree that playing the blame game is way too yesterday. It happened. Now, let's move forward and figure out a better future. And, for the record, I agree with you!
Debe, blaming anyone gets us nowhere. It happened, let's move on.
Wow...you must be reading my mind! Your statement, " I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house!" almost mirrors a similar warning I give all of my buyers to be able to live a great life and not be saddled with a huge house payment! I see houses all the time that are ego driven, beautiful house, excellent neighborhood and no furniture...You're right too abbot getting away from all the negative energy, it just feeds on itself and gets bigger as people continue to fuel it!
See you in Dallas!
Debe - 100% agreed!!! Pointing fingers and playing the blame game is a fast track to getting stuck in the problem instead of proactively working (cooperatively) toward a solution, whether it's our industry in general or in the midst of a transaction. Well written as always :)
Debe,
Looking back can certainly teach lessons...but the blame game is such negative energy....we need to put that energy into changes....
Bob: You don't HAVE to agree with me but, I can't imagine what blaming one another is accomplishing!! ;-)
Jeff: Like the spilled milk--who cares who spilled it, let's just get it cleaned up before someone slips in it!
Russell: Thanks--funny but, everytime I tell my clients that, they manage to repeat it at some time--once was at Closing and the attorney said I needed to trademark that phrase! And, okay, WOOHOO! I am so thrilled that you're goint to Dallas! It should be a great event and I just cannot wait!
Diane: Well, thank you! No one ever got anywhere blaming something on someone else--proactive solution-based cooperation IS imperative--especially in this case and we do need to stand united as I think there's alot more coming down the pike at us! Hold ON!
Lori: Absolutely! Those lessons are invaluable in life but, learn from it and MOVE ON! We have so much more productive work that can be done, don't we?!
Great stuff Debe, wish I could reblog, I am with you all the way, why does everybody feel they are entitled to everything. Go out and work for it like I did, I refuse to feel guilty because I worked hard and long to have the life I have. You go girl...
I will second your post debe. Too much finger pointing and not enough thinking how do we get out of this mess.
Yikes !!!
Of course you are correct, and many buyers have continued to 'expect' the American Dream, just because they have decided they are owed it !
Negativity is such a life killer.
Cheers Debe !!
Sheldon :o)
Debe...great reminder that blaming will get you nowhere, just ask my boys who continue to think blaming their sister will get them off the hook for whatever it is they did or didn't do. We all contributed in some way, as this is our country. So let's all contribute to the solution.
So true Debe. I believe that we shouldn't blame, we should find a way to get around the obsticle and move on down the road, whether professional or personal it is all the same
I don't know if you can hear that sound. But it's the sound of applause coming from me in my office!
I can't even add anything to debate/ enhance/ elaborate on this post.
You've covered it all.
Great post Debe!
You know that I agree with you in all you have said here Debe. We can point fingers all day but we need to accept that each of us needs to look out for our clients bottom line. It is sometimes easy to forget in the excitement of the moment that the best results are results that get someone in a home they can afford and can stay in
Debe- I am with you 1000 percent. I hate the blame game that so many play. Its always someone elses fault that life is like it is. Ugh. Only when we take responsibility for our own lives does life get better and brighter. Blame is a waste of time and energy.
Here! Here! Debe! I couldn't agree more.
Debi
Debe...i think you bring a refreshing voice of honesty to the conversation about the times in which we live...This message applies to almost everything, including those who profess a life of faith...Cherise
Debe,
Yes, we are where we are, let's focus on a solution to get better, verses finger pointing. I agree wholeheartedly.
Also, buy within your means and enjoy life folks!
All the best, Michelle
Debe ---- the first thought I had in reading your post was I just want to say "Amen" -- now, I know that some Active Rainers say that this would be mixing religion with business, but so be it -- you have done an excellent job of saying it like it is -- so, "Amen " BTW, I also think this post would be great for the public.
Hi Debe, you have a great way of putting a positive spin on things, and of course you are right. It doesn't do us any good to blame anyone, it won't change anything. Going forward and focusing on the future rather than the past is what will bring about the necessary change we seek.
Debe,
Your suggestion really takes a lot of fun out of things. It's just a time honored situation to blame somebody else for whatever issues we experience. I use to blame my brother, and he blamed me for things broken or rules infractions around the house. Presidents blame Congress, especially the other party, and Congress blames the President for doing stupid things. Conservatives blame Liberals, and Liberals blame Conservatives for all manner of ill-thought out ideas. Athesists blame those with religious beliefs, and those with religious beliefs blame non-believers for the decline in standards of decency.
I'll be watching to see how this turns out. It's going to be a challenge.
Hello Debe and I really like the positive attitude and yes people always blame, blame, blame including VB! I just want my Country back and I don't want it run by a bunch of Attorneys, their destroying this Country!
VB ;o)
SOOO True. Sheldon just wrote a post about 'pointing fingers' because his closing was delayed and delayed and delayed and... Its always easier to point a finger than to look at yourself. Its sad, but thats also why people don't trust other people.
I think it is all a vicious cycle. Once one person starts the blame game is just snowballs from that and the cause and/or solution is lost. If we all took responsibility for our own actions think how smoothly things would go. If something goes wrong we would say "oh I wish I had done something different", and the next person might acknowledge that they made a mistake and rectify it instead of always being on the defensive. Well put, Debe.
Hi Debe,
Applause..applause..the applause coming your way should be deafening!! You have put it just like it is..more people are playing the blame game and pointing fingers. You are right not everyone is meant to own a home..it is not for everyone. Thanks for a great post!
It's not just the blame game, but it's every one else's fault, not mine.
Debe-couldn't agree more. When we spend more time telling positive news about our local markets and our transactions it puts all of us in a better light. As an industry we have an image problem and the only way to correct it is to stop the negative spin. I for one in tired of agents continuing to blame appraisers for tanking deals. I had posted yesterday about an appraiser who I think went the extra mile to get a deal to settlement.
Debe, you always write good, solid thought provoking posts. I am sick and tired of the blame game too - let's get back on a good track!
Have a great day, Betsy
you said "my motto, which all of my clients will tell you I preach to them is, I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house!'
I sing the same song time and time again. I tell buyers that "yes I know you qualify for $XXXX amount of dollars, but your lender doesn't take into account how many times a week your family enjoys eating out. Or how you like to take nice vacations twice a year, etc." Thanks for this post Debe
Debe - Hear! Hear! I couldn't agree more. I am really looking forward to meeting you next week. :)
Debe,
Love your posts. It seems that so much energy is wasted on blame when we could be using it positively to make a difference- just like you do in Active Rain!
Debe, you so hit it on the nose with the idea of living in, and not for, your house. Great post.
Thank you for saying this Debe! I don't say it because the mindset here is noxious. I could be mobbed. It's everyone's fault, the bank swindled me. When in reality, it is a game of strategic default.
Ahh the incredible waste of time and resources for nothing. I dunno, but, to me, learn it, don't duplicate it, then forget it and move on. Strategies, YES, that is where it (what ever it is for you) is at. Adapt and, well, you know....
Debe - I'm all for putting on my big girl panties and looking forward....and that's exactly what I've done.....but here's what worries me: it's not the people putting on their big boy and big girl panties and moving forward that we have to worry about....
It's about the institutions who got us into this mess...and if things don't change we're going to be right back here again.
We're blessed we were able to dust ourselves off and start again....but so many people haven't been blessed that way....
That's who I can't help thinking about every time I go into one of these homes where blankets and school books have been left behind.
I agree with you; you live in the house you can comfortably afford. What bothers me about the government is that no one, and I mean NO ONE is doing anything for us. Every homeowner across the board - rich, middle income, etc., no matter what political stripe have ALL LOST value in their property. My 'set aside' was homes I iinvested in for my retirement. I am unmarried, and I have no family. What I have earned and invested in has dropped significantly, and I'm very fearful of my future. I am it when it comes to taking care of me! I have always worked hard, and been a single mom, never got a bloody dime in child support. I worked! And now, I face a lot of challenges (on top of my femur being fractured). I see nothing substanitive to help people who are in tough times. AND . . . the American people seem so complacent about it all! As if foreclosure, short sales, losing equity is normal!?!?! While the stock market rallies, and the banks are bailed out. I just don't get it. Why are we so willing to bend over backward and bark like dogs?!?
What we are FOR strengthens us - what we are against weakens. Getting stuck, or residing inertia does not help and that's what blame does - freeze frames a situation. The only constant is change and whatever decision is made and carried out with be righted by the principles of a greater consiciousness.
Hi Debe, Wow, you must feel better after that ! Get past the negative energy, negative people , negative news coverage and onto doing what we do best !
Excellent advice with good points. No solutions, just alot of finger pointing. Still some problems can't be solved, solved quickly or efficiently.
Debe,
Thanks for reminding us that this house of cards is about to crumble. Calling all the Smart People in this country! Please step forward with the solution to our current crisis. In the future, we need to start paying attention to who we put in charge.
Great advice, Debe, but unfortunately, we can never truly get away from it.
It's kinda hard wired into our collective psyche as a species. Remember, it was Adam who started the blame game...;-)
Debe - Great post. I don't understand why it is so important to find a person to place the blame on. We need just to move forward - I so agree.
Debe - You are so right. We can not do anything about what has already happened. Worrying about the past will not change it. We just have to learn from the mistakes and move on.